Not this time.

There’s a reason when you’re on an airplane that flight attendants tell you to put your own mask on first in case of an emergency. Look after yourself first and foremost, because then it makes it a lot easier for you to look after others. Sounds simple, right? Isn’t it important that you put your own needs and wants before those of anyone else? Looking after yourself and constantly discovering what and who makes you happy is probably a pretty good starting point. Some people might tell you that it’s selfish but it’s anything but. Introspection is a great thing, look at yourself and see if you’re heading in the direction you want to be going and doing all of the things that you want to be doing, whether that’s work or in your personal life. Dr Aziz Gazipura, one of the world’s leading clinical psychologists gets it. ‘Always putting others first creates deep resentment, destroys your happiness and is unsustainable. Putting yourself first allows you to meet your needs in the most skillful way. This in turn, increases your happiness, joy and capacity to love, so you can give freely and create healthy relationships.’ Healthy would be the takeaway word from that quote.

It’s too easy sometimes to think of others first, whether it’s big or small things. Someone bumps into you and you’re the one who says sorry, what’s that about? You hold a door open for someone and not even a nod of acknowledgement comes your way. You let someone cut in front of the queue at a supermarket because they have less items and they cruise on past you like you’re not even there. So shines many good deeds in what can be an unkind world, even if other people don’t appreciate the tiniest of gestures that you’re happy and willing to make. It’s easier said than done but there is zero point in wasting your energy on the things that you can’t control. A point comes when enough is enough, especially when the sacrifice is bigger. Fuck apologies, the only person you need validation from looks back at you in the mirror every day.

How long do you wait until you’ve decided that you’re tired of the way your life is going because someone is holding you back emotionally? It’s been too long for this not to be me.

I’m not perfect, I’ve got pride.

One day you wake up and just know that one person can and will change everything for the better, even if they didn’t mean to. It was a sobering moment when that penny finally dropped but there’s no room for toxic people in any of our lives. Cut them loose, won’t you feel all the better for it? Yep, it takes balls, but isn’t it a far more attractive option to hurt for a little while than to carry on hurting forever? No need for you to become a static cliche, someone who sticks about feeling unhappy just because you’re worried about what might be on the other side? Sometimes the grass is greener. Maybe it’ll be a life you’ve never experienced before, but perhaps it is. You chose to give it up to try and give someone another chance, more fool you, but you backed yourself in that moment, so why wouldn’t you do the same now?

Not everything is black and white though, but there’s plenty of colour out there going around to make things better for each of us, maybe we’ve just not all grasped that yet. Sometimes it’s hard to take but now and again, you need someone to give you a shake, to tell you words that you really need to hear. Nothing wrong with a bit of tough love on occasion. I guess there comes a day when every man draws his own line in the sand. Spending time on your own and listening to yourself is probably something that none of us do as much as we should. Sure, we’re all worried about different things but even if our progress is slow, progress is still being made.

Do you remember that feeling you had when you started something new? How it felt, how it brought a chunk of sunshine into a dark day? It’s not always going to be smooth, but you stick with it because you know the alternative made you deeply unhappy.

I had to come home to realise that it wasn’t home any more. Some people haven’t changed a bit, it’s like I was never away. With good friends, you just fall back into things seamlessly. Other people are jealous of your success, about the life you were enjoying until it gets to a point where they resent you. Those are the types of people in your life that you don’t want to make space for. Any of us can change our lives for the better but don’t hate on someone who’s taken the decision to enrich themselves just because you’re too chicken shit to do the same. I was starting to feel empathy for you but why should I?

Pity and sympathy are two different things. You can sympathise with someone and let them know that you understand any distress, grief or sorrow that they might be going through. All in all, a positive emotion. Pity is definitely more of a negative thing and you might get to the stage where you actually feel sorry for someone.

It’s not been that hard with the benefit of hindsight to decide to leave that toxic person behind. The day has come when plans need to be made to really go back home and try and rediscover that time when everything was nearly as perfect as it could possibly be. Sometimes it takes going away to bring you back.

Usually I go and take the blame but not this time. It’s our world to discover, either alone or with someone and this will be so much better alone.

I would say I’m sorry if I really meant it.

@TheSamMcLeod

JoJo’s new album, ‘Good To Know’ drops on May 1st.

No one looks innocent.

There’s about to be a wedding, another man is going to be lost overboard. Before the groom walks down the aisle though and meets his beautiful bride, there needs to be a bachelor party/stag do. It’s a rite of passage, it could be tame, it could be wild but it has to happen. Have a day at a spa if that’s what the main man wants, but don’t you want to try and go big, make it something unforgettable? Forgettable is probably more likely if your collective night pans out the way you all want it to. Well, maybe not all of you.

Back in 2007, two friends had an idea for a movie and wrote a script called ‘What Happens In Vegas’. It was quickly snapped up by a studio but due to various legal difficulties, it didn’t look like it was ever going to be a thing. Two years later however, Warner Bros picked up the rights to the script, promptly renamed it ‘The Hangover’ and made it the first part of what would become the most successful R-rated comedy franchise of all time. Is it a good idea to try and replicate as much of that film experience as possible or not?

George Carlin was widely regarded as one of the best stand-up comedians ever. Chuck in that he was an actor, author and social critic too, and it’s hard not to recognise the genius of the man. He once posited that you should ‘Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.’ Las Vegas, stupid people, a large group, what could possibly go wrong? On your own, you can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for shithousery levels of stupidity, nothing beats teamwork.

I always put myself in destructive situations.

If you’re responsible for such a shindig, you need to listen to the needs and wants of everyone that’ll be going. Some ideas are infinitely more ridiculous than others but don’t you try to make them all happen?

The accommodation is sorted with a pool that leans out over the side of the building. Chuck in butler service and you just know that man is going to deserve every dollar of his tip once the weekend is over.

Not all of us drive, but the Las Vegas Motor Speedway is a popular option where you can tear it up in Ferraris, Lamborghinis, McLarens and Porsches. I wouldn’t trust any of these idiots on a bicycle but each to their own. Who in their right mind would want to fly a fighter jet? This guy, and despite some medical advice that it’s a fucking terrible idea, the aviators were packed. None of us have any clue what a hammerhead stall, tail spin or torque roll is but I guess we’ll find out. I’ve already gifted my flat to someone if I don’t make it back alive. Laying your hands on everything from pistols to fully automatic rifles and sub-machine guns at a shooting range doesn’t sit well so the three of them can have at it. There’s a bar across the street, bourbon wins out.

It’s almost a scene from Ocean’s Eleven but cards at the Bellagio is a must. Throw in the complimentary Manhattans and Negronis and you know that the two Scottish boys will kick the balls out of that. Not so sure about the Kiwi or the Yank, but we’ll see and it’s unlikely that any bank heists will take place. I’m not saying that one of us knows how to count cards but I’m also not saying that one of us can’t, seems there are added benefits to a maths degree. Getting a black eye or broken jaw in the back room of a casino would be a story to tell the grandchildren, cliche as hell but probably worth it. There’s a tour of bars that comes with free IPAs’, rookie move Vegas, a day of takings in the red awaits. Who doesn’t think that drinking more beers and renting jetskis on Lake Mead is a good idea?

Pretty vanilla though, time to step it back up. Jump off the Stratosphere, basically a controlled free fall before hitting the Strip, hopefully feet first. Hijacking the pool at the Mandalay Bay, getting led astray by the poolside casino and enjoying the view for the three of us that are single. All are stupid ideas but it’s not really our weekend, or is it? Maybe this kind of trip is for everyone except ironically, the groom? He has to behave to a certain extent whilst everyone else can go crazy. Stupidity has a knack of getting in the way but everything will be alright in the morning, won’t it? As long as the night doesn’t involve acquiring a random baby or stealing a tiger, the night can be counted as a success. Famous last words.

Just getting him to the church safely is the ultimate goal but that can wait for now.

We’ve got a big, big mess on our hands tonight.

@TheSamMcLeod