You took my heart by surprise.

A lot of life is determined by utter randomness.

It’s hard to explain sometimes, isn’t it? There can be a randomness to the way things happen in your life. Exposing yourself to as much randomness as possible would appear to be the best or worst thing that you can do. What if you take a different train than you usually do? Perhaps you meet someone that you might not have met otherwise. A sliding doors type of moment. That experience could be life changing in a good or a bad way. Is it fate? Is randomness the same thing as meaningless chance? Honest answer? No fucking clue!

Unexpected friendships are maybe the best ones. One smile can begin a friendship. Sometimes you can meet someone randomly and know immediately that they are special. The way that you talk with them. The way that you laugh with them. The way that you finish each other’s sentences. The way that you can be thinking of the exact same thing at the exact same time. Some people can search their whole life to find what you’ve already found. Maybe we don’t meet people by accident. It’s a well perceived thought that the best relationships happen unexpectedly though. Which point of view is right? Who knows? Who cares? There has to be a degree of randomness in every decision that we make. Do I click that follow button? Why? Why not?

You might meet someone that surprises you. You come across them and you’re not immediately drawn to them in a massive way. That’s not down to them, you just have other things that are more important in your life at that time. It’s not that you don’t care, it’s just consequence. Everyone has to deal with their own life on a daily basis, it’s cool. The thing is though, as you get to know this friend, they can become the most important person in your life in that moment or maybe forever. Who knows? Did you see it coming? Did you fuck, it just happened.

Is there anything better? You click, you’re comfortable with them and you don’t need to pretend who you are or feel the need to keep secrets from them. You don’t need to be anything that you’re not.

A good friendship is perhaps when you understand someone and they understand you. The right friendship can be a slow burner but can become explosive stuff in time. That one person that you care about on a daily basis. You find yourself thinking about them randomly every day and hoping that they’re doing okay. If they’ve confided in you about what they’re worrying about, how can you not worry about that too? You want to check in. You want to reassure them that everything will be okay. Conversely, if they’ve had something good or exciting happen to them, you share in that. You want to. You don’t need to be a superhero. Being beautiful or brilliant or perfect sounds amazing but as long as you care, isn’t that all that matters to them? You can make them smile when they’re down. You randomly check up on them to see that they’re doing okay. You look out for them, you want the best for them.

It’s also a good friendship surely if you don’t talk every day? It doesn’t mean for a second that you’ve forgotten about them. It certainly doesn’t mean that you don’t care. Nothing changes. You still want to say hey, you still want to know how they are. If one person isn’t in touch for a while, it’s okay to give them space or to take space. They know that they have a shoulder that they can cry on if they need it. They know that there will always be a friendly ear if they need to speak to someone. It doesn’t matter what time it is, even if you are thousands of miles away. Friendship has no timezone. Chances are that you want that person to speak to you, you miss your friend, you miss their presence. You just miss them. Your friend.

It’s not always 50/50 though, is it? You know that when you need something that they’ll be there for you. The cool part is that they know the exact same thing. No matter what, no matter when, no matter where.

Close your eyes and think about that person that you met unexpectedly. How do they make you feel? Think of the things that you like about him or her. Try to take a deep breath and forget about them. Pretty much impossible, right?

The conversations, the experiences, the friendship, the jokes, the memories, the plans perhaps made but not yet fulfilled, the smiles and the tears. You wouldn’t trade those things for anything. You’d do anything for your friends. Anything, a million times over. The randomness suddenly doesn’t matter any more.

What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?

@TheSamMcLeod

Live on and be yourself.

Someone once said that in everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

I’ve never been one of those people who have had dozens of friends. I have a small circle of really close friends who I would do anything for. Due to circumstance, I moved house a lot when I was younger and to very different geographical locations within Scotland and beyond. In hindsight, it was a good thing because I managed to meet some people who I managed to connect with and build a friendship with.

Still though, I’ve managed to retain contact with the people that matter most. That’s how it should be, right?

There are four of us boys that are incredibly close and those boys have always been there for me when I’ve needed them. No questions asked, they always have my back if needed and I’m the same for them. We’ve shared good times, some bad times, some secrets and pretty much anything that you could think of.

Today, one of our band of four, shared the biggest secret yet. He told us that he was gay and that he’d met someone that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

Massive news to us but more massive for him. He explained that he’d wanted to tell us for years but was afraid that we’d discard him as a friend. Proud is not the right word but I’m glad that we all told him in unison that we liked, respected and loved him no matter what.

The other three of us had no idea.

We went out as a foursome as teenage boys and did what teenage boys did. We hit on girls that were way above our league. We were unsuccessful more times than not but our friendship and banter more than made up for it.

We’re good friends and I’m so proud of all of them. Especially proud of one of those people tonight. I’ll stand there at your wedding and will be as proud as punch.

Congratulations to you both!